Future Business Plans

This is a list of future possibilities that have been mentioned during Diet Coke & Lilith's House of Snax.

Future House of Snax Episodes

• Mountain Dew Special: After reviewing Mountain Dew's Baja Flash, Lilith proposed entering their top Dew flavors into canon. Diet Coke said that should be saved for a Dew special, not just a Dew episode, adding that this is business conversation that will be continued off air. (The special was later cancelled because they were no longer comfortable buying Frito-Lay products due to the company's poor working conditions at the time.)
• Pizza Rolls: Diet Coke and Lilith agreed that they'll absolutely do a Pizza Rolls episode some time.
• Warheads: Diet Coke has never had Warheads, because as a kid, somebody instilled in her a deep fear of them that has not gone away, but upon Lilith's request, she agreed that they will review Warheads on the podcast.
• Nuts.com: Lilith suggested that she and Diet Coke should sit down and make a nuts.com order together, then make an entire season of snacks from nuts.com (a snack website which Diet Coke recommends).
• After reviewing Cookies & Cream Hershey Kisses during episode #26, Diet Coke revealed that she has another flavor of Kisses that she wants to review on the podcast, but Lilith has had trouble finding them. "...Anyway, that's business for off the podcast, and the off-podcast business does have its own category on the Wiki."
• Whataburger: Diet Coke said to Lilith during Episode #27, "As soon as it's feasible, I'm visiting your dumb ass. We're gonna eat some fucking Whataburger."
• Ruby chocolate: Diet Coke suggested that they review ruby chocolate on the show. She thinks it is strange but likes it a lot. Lilith has never had it.
• House of Snax Trans Trans American Road Trip Episodes: "DIET COKE: "I don't know when this will be feasible, but in the 2025 House of Snax, we do an episode where it's our combinations from a Coca-Cola freestyle... We should both drive out to Primm where there is the world's largest gas station where they have crazy snacks that we could enjoy and a huge soda fountain with a million different flavors... That could be a couple episodes... And on the way there, we're gonna pass Eddie World, the place with the giant ice cream cone and the crazy snack selection. I think there's like a whole road to Vegas mini series we could do." LILITH: "Fuck your Venmo; we should just start a Kickstarter that's just like, 'once shit is calm, fund us to grab a Zoom and take a roadtrip around the country recording House of Snaxes.'" LILITH: "Again, the House of Snax tour across the country, we're just gonna sneak a Zoom into a Wendy's and just like hover over their freestyle for like an hour in a half and be absolute fucking goblins 'okay, so you try this one, you try this one.'" If they get enough money from Patreon, they'll do a road trip to Phoenix, Arizona and a few other spots to try some local snacks that aren't available everywhere, maybe even Sheetz territory. They want to go to Sheetz and Wawa. "Maybe we should live at Sheetz for a year and document our experience... set up a tent outside Sheetz and do a year's worth of episodes trying snacks." DIET COKE: "2024 is the trans American convenience store road trip... the trans trans American, because there's two of us. We're hitting Wawa. We're hitting Sheetz. We might even sneak a Kum & Go in there." LILITH: "And Bucky's, the Texas one... Whataburger." DIET COKE: "EddieWorld, not a chain, but kind of a big iconic one. We're gonna hit all the spots. That's 2024."
• Pickles: They will not review pickles. LILITH: "Of our following, if skews pretty trans feminine, so if we do pickles down the line, we're gonna get skewered." DIET COKE: "We're not gonna talk about pickles. We're not gonna say out loud what either of us feel about pickles... For all anyone knows, were just a couple pickle enjoyers going about our day, and no one has to think otherwise... Of course I love pickles! Who wouldn't love a nasty-ass, wet, bad textured, tastes like dipping your tongue in vinegar - the stuff I use to clean my sink? What about that experience wouldn't I enjoy and love and want a bunch of them on my burger?"
• Flamin' Hot Cheetos: Lilith believes she should try Flamin' Hot Cheetos again. "I feel like I didn't like them as a kid, and I just haven't given them a chance as an adult." This may not happen for a while, as after later reviewing Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew and Flamin' Hot Cool Ranch Doritos, Lilith requested a moratorium on flamin' hot.
• House of Snax Basics: HOS Basics is an ongoing series that will continue later.
• Target Brand Circus Animals: Diet Coke said to Lilith, "We will not do [Target brand circus animal cookies] on the show, that's a promise right now, 'cause I would not do that to you because the only way I've ever seen them sold at Target is in a gigantic bear. It's a good deal; it's five dollars, but it's a big-ass fuckin' bear of these cookies. I'm not gonna do that to you, but maybe next time you're in California, I'll get some, and we'll share a couple."
• Camping Episode: They will record an episode together in the woods where they review Ritz crackers, summer sausage, and a third ingredient.
• Two Sweets: The first House of Snax episode after #39 where they review two sweets will be recorded in honor of Scott Hall. This episode ended up being Episode #44, where they reviewed Blue Hershey Symphony and Mountain Dew Flamin' Hot.
• Chips Ahoy: LILITH: "[Vanilla Dunkaroos are] better than a Chips Ahoy." DIET COKE: "I don't know that I would agree with that." LILITH: "Well, when we get into our Chips Ahoy Basics episode, we're gonna have a talk about Chips Ahoy."
• Little Debbie Star Crunch: Neither Diet Coke or Lilith have had Star Crunch before. They wanted to review it, but Diet Coke hasn't been able to find it, saying, "One day. I haven't given up yet." Lilith said shat it should be reviewed as part of the House of Snax Basics series.
• Toblerone: "We should do Toblerone some time."
• Strawberry Chocorooms: Diet Coke said, "One day we'll have to do strawberry as well because I think the strawberry ones are also extremely excellent."
• Mountain Dew Frost Bite: Diet Coke said that she wanted to do the Walmart exclusive "Mountain Dew Shark Bite," likely referring to Mountain Dew Frost Bite, which has a picture of a shark on the bottle. She then realized that both her and Lilith have had the drink before, so it is not clear if they still intend to review it on the show.
• Duff A L'Orange: Diet Coke has seen this drink at Five Below every time she went until Lilith bought it and suggested it for the show; Diet Coke hasn't seen it for sale since. Since Lilith has tasted the drink already, if Diet Coke is able to buy it but then the universe suddenly removes it from Lilith's local Five Below, Lilith will pull the Kit Kat shit that Diet Coke did in Episode #7 and only pretend to drink it during the show while actually giving opinions based on past experience.
• Pepperidge Farm White Chocolate Macadamia Cookies: Diet Coke said they should do this snack on the show.
• Taco Bell Big Cheez-It Tostada: This snack may be discussed in a future episode but will likely not be one of the two snacks officially reviewed by both members, as Lilith is not yet ready to give Taco Bell another chance. In Episode #52, Diet Coke said, "I'm pretty near the Taco Bell test kitchen in Irvine, California, which as of right now for the next two weeks is the only Taco Bell in the world that's selling the Big Cheez-It thing you may have seen in the news, so I'm gonna try to sneak down there and get that for a special report. look forward to that in the coming weeks."
• Mixed Berry Twinkies: LILITH: "I saw berry Twinkies when I was at the grocery store today, and that seems ill-advised." DIET COKE: "Let's subject ourselves to that for a future episode."
• Fresca: DIET COKE: "My conception of Fresca is that it’s as sweet as a regular soda. Maybe I’m wrong… Fresca will have to be a future episode."
• Del Taco's Strawberry Sprite: It might be limited time, and Lilith has never lived near a Del Taco. DIET COKE: "They mix it fresh in the store, and it's good."
• Spam: Both Diet Coke and Lilith said they should cover Spam on the show. Diet Coke had previously given it a "would buy, would eat" rating, but Lilith was unable to rate it because she hadn't had it in a few years.
• French Fries: LILITH: "We can talk about french fry rankings another day." DIET COKE: "Sure. We'll save that for the Philip J. Fry memorial fry episode."
• Bubble Up: Diet Coke said "We gotta do Bubble Up some time."
• Life Savers: "We should do Life Savers on the show some time." "Yeah, we should."
• Ketchup Doritos: They will not review Ketchup Doritos. LILITH: "I don't want to. We can't do everything on this show, because some of it's just trash."
• Warheads Extreme Sour Hard Seltzer: Diet Coke said, "I wanna try that... We should do that on the show," but Lilith already had the green apple flavor and does not want to repeat what she did. "Maybe if I can find another flavor."
• Trader Joe's Tiny Fruity Cuties Cereal: DIET COKE: "They're making a fucking move into the true sugar cereal game. Kinda wanna maybe review that for a future episode. I know we talked about having a certain guest on to talk about Trader Joe's in general." LILITH: "Shout outs to Atlanta. I'm not giving specific names." DIET COKE: "Donald Glover is gonna be on the show."
• Locusts: DIET COKE: "That's probably how we'll die, in the 2036 locust plague... We'll be killed because we try to eat them for the show, and that's actually how the world will discover that they're hella poisonous."
• Benzo-Glazed Steak: DIET COKE: "Benzo-glazed steak is what we'll be reviewing with Jordan Peterson." LILITH: "We've been joking about doing raw steak and benzos for quite some time. We're never going to do that." SNACK-KEEPER III: "I'll do it. I'll do a solo review of it."
• House of Snax Español: After the House of Snax Trans Trans American Road Trip, they plan to do a House of Snax life tour in Spain. "I'm thinking Q2 2025 is House of Snax Español."
• Twinkies: LILITH: "We've never done Twinkies on the show, and we gotta get around to that."
• Salt and Vinegar Chips: DIET COKE: "I don't think I've had one since I was like 14 and hated it... They're kind of a grown-up chip, a sophisticated chip for adults."
• Airheads: DIET COKE: "I often stay away from Airheads, frankly... It's like eating a sweet tongue... As I saw that out loud, I'm like, that doesn't sound too bad actually. Maybe that's another one I should revisit. I don't think I've had an Airhead since I was a middling little league player... We got two on the docket now that I gotta revisit."
• Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream: DIET COKE: "Have we ever done a BJ on the show, a Ben & Jerry's? We should."
• Cheetos Month: DIET COKE: "We should do Cheetos Month where we do four episodes in a row where it's Cheetos every time." LILITH: "And it's not varieties of Cheetos." DIET COKE: "It's just basic crunchy Cheetos four times in a row."
• Chalk: DIET COKE: "We should just review chalk at one point." LILITH: "We should review chalk, just like sidewalk chalk." DIET COKE: "Yeah, yeah, just eat some sidewalk chalk."
• Turkish Delight: DIET COKE: "All three of us [Diet Coke, Lilith, and Clove] will get some Turkish Delight. That'll be the [Big Turk] sequel we do ten years from now."

Other Plans

• If they have a Patreon, this will be the highest tier reward: they'll eat cat food (with the unofficial third host Christmas Valentine) and give their opinions of the cat food. This was stated in one of the early podcast episodes and was later added as the reward for reaching the $10,000 goal on their Patreon page. Diet Coke and Lilith later talked about this tier during Episode #44, with Diet Coke seemingly having a more positive opinion of the possibility - LILITH: "I want to be paying my fucking rent off of this podcast if I am eating god damned cat food." DIET COKE: "If I'm making ten thousand dollars a month, I'll eat cat food once a month. I don't care." In Episode #45, they determined that the cat food they eat should be the cat food that their cats like. A vet recommended for BATLORD to eat wet food, and Meow Mix Pate Toppers is the only wet food he'll eat, so that is what Lilith and BATLORD would review once the House of Snax reaches the Patreon goal.
• Diet Coke said, "The cancellation of this podcast is going to be, 'we've run out of brands that we haven't found out fucked up things about.' Like, that's gonna be it"
• When discussing how many episodes they had backlogged before making the podcast public, Diet Coke said, "I think we should make 50 first... We get to 50, then you know what we do next? You know what's our next move? Toss 'em out, worthless, but we know how to do the show now. We got a year under our belts and then we go live with no backlog, just recording every week. That's the new style. That's how podcasts are gonna be done now... It's the new standard that we're gonna set here on Lilith and Diet Coke's House of Snax." The plan was not executed for this podcast, but they may set the new standard on a future podcast.
• As an evil demon, the Snack Keeper once threatened to begin the HOSPD (House of Snax Police Department).
• Lilith proposed opening an Etsy store in order to sell podcast merch and the Snack Dimension sex goo to listeners. Upon being told that the goo tends to disintegrate on Earth, she responded, "Oh, we'll figure it out," implying that there are still plans to start selling the goo.
• Diet Coke said, "I'm surprised I haven't seen a 'Millennials are Killing Gum' headline. I might agree with that one. As a gum enjoyer, I might agree. Maybe that'll be how I earn money, is I write the 'Millennials are Killing Gum.'"
• Diet Coke and Lilith are looking for franchisees in hopes of getting a House of Snax franchise going. There is a $100,000 franchise fee, but once that is paid, they will send all necessary supplies, including a trained Snack Keeper and a lawyer if needed.
• DIET COKE: "What if we made- what if someone made yogurt-covered gummy bears but they marketed them as cum-covered gummy bears... The penis candy industry has been kept alive by bachelorette parties for years and years, and I think it's the 2020's and we're ready for the next step forward in evolution, and I think that is marketing yogurt-covered snacks as cum-covered snacks." LILITH: "What if we start maybe a cream-filled chocolate that we market as cum filled... To the perverts out there, that would be much more satisfying." DIET COKE: "I don't think we're gonna satisfy the perverts unless we're putting actual cum in there, and frankly, I don't see how we're gonna get that past the FDA." LILITH: "Okay not actual cum, but I think if we make a slightly salty cream, I do think that we can satisfy them." DIET COKE: "Honestly, the fucked up thing is, that sounds good. We'll put that in R&D for a little longer. We'll see what we come up with."
• After eating Sour Jacks Mouth-Puckering candy, Diet Coke commented, “Maybe if I was a little baby, my mouth would pucker” due to their lack of sourness. Lilith then proposed, “We should try that. We should get a baby on the- No, we shouldn’t. That sounds like a bad idea. That sounds like an incredibly bad idea.”
• After saying "Where's the grape?," Diet Coke remarked, "We just gotta wait a couple more years. We can be the new 'where's the beef' ladies."
• At the beginning of Episode #23, Diet Coke said, "Our next snack should be cum. When we do a Patreon, we'll do the cum episode... I don't know whatever you were about to say, but we're not really gonna do the cum episode. That's not a real idea."
• Lilith said, "This podcast needs to be timeless. I want them to put this on the next Voyager probe."
• During Episode #30, Diet Coke and Lilith both said that they were very excited about the idea of Coca-Cola scented perfume.
• "We gotta find, like, the snobby food review podcast that we can feud with in a 80's movie style slobs vs snobs situation." -Diet Coke
• Lilith jokingly said, "We'll save it for our next podcast after House of Snax wraps up, but [Kevin Sorbo's] performance in God's Not Dead 1, it's really incredible," hinting at an upcoming podcast about either God's Not Dead or Kevin Sorbo.
• Lilith said, "After we have retired this podcast in 2146 and we have moved on to the next podcast that we are going to be doing, David Armalite Rifle White, which is our retrospective on the films of David A. R. white." David Armalite Rifle White was also mentioned in the following episode. They later decided that they will do the podcast if their Patreon reaches 40 dollars per month.
• SNACK KEEPER: "I'll probably die soon so that we can have a clean slate. I feel a sickness coming in my future." LILITH: "We're gonna have a bit of a continuity break, maybe get the Snack Giver back." SNACK KEEPER: "I don't know about that. I hate the Snack Giver with all my being. Dark period in my history." LILITH: "We'll have like a war between the Snack Giver and the Snack Keeper." SNACK KEEPER: "Alright, it's my life. Don't tell me what to do." LILITH: "I'm just spitballing maybe if anyone in Hollywood is out there listening, you know there's a lot of cool things we could do." SNACK KEEPER: "10 episode Snack Keeper series on HBO Max." LILITH: "Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. I'm imaging 'the fall of the Snack Keeper' which would be, let's be honest, we would be lucky to get Paramount Plus on board with that." SNACK KEEPER: "This is a Tubee original." LILITH: "Yeah, there we go, I feel like we could probably swing Tubee... Anyone at Crackle is out there, just hit us up."
• LILITH: "Some day me and my best friend, we are gonna journey to the Snack Dimension and I am gonna destroy you with my mouth." SNACK KEEPER: "Good luck breathing in that Pixy dust, idiots" LILITH: "I can bring a fucking oxygen mask." SNACK KEEPER: "I'll fucking drown you in the sex goo river."
• Diet Coke and Lilith have discussed what they might do if bugs from space killed all of the presidents and installed themselves as new leaders. The full details are on the Space Bug Invasion page.
• LILITH: "I would really love to hear what the Snack Keeper being channeled through Willem Dafoe sounds like." SNACK KEEPER: "You'll have to get Willem Dafoe on the show to hear that... There's that famous picture of him in the supermarket smiling at pancake batter. He'd be a great guest, I think. Oh, also I know him personally, and he loves snacks." LILITH: "We'll review pancake batter and spilled beans."
• Diet Coke and Lilith proposed an idea for a podcast called "Sleepy and the Freak." The podcast would always be recorded at 4AM, but "Sleepy" stays up late to record while "the Freak" wakes up very early.
• DIET COKE: "It's not that this episode isn't bad, it's that it's no worse; that's the podcaster's promise... "The Podcaster's Promise" is like the dramatic limited series coming to the House of Snax Patreon soon... This is a joke. It's not gonna happen, but it's like the John Green book set in the world of podcasting, or maybe even worse than that. Maybe it's the Kirk Cameron movie set in the world of podcasting."
• After eating Sour Patch Kids Candy Pop Popcorn - DIET COKE: "We should be given legal authority by the government to put warnings on snacks that we have tried, and some of them might be positive warnings." LILITH: "If you get 'a would buy, would eat' from both Diet Coke and Lilith, you should get a sticker on your package that says so."
• Alamo Drafthouse Piss Sluts
• Lilith asked the Snack-Keeper if they could sneak a camcorder into a Snack-Dimension bullman sex show, but as camcorders do not workin the Snack-Dimension, the Snack-Keeper offered to instead write down their thoughts while watching one of the shows and give Lilith the play-by-play afterwards. She responded, "Well that's gonna have to be saved for patreon.com/houseofsnax," because the episode had already gone on for a very long time. Only Patreon subscribers can find out if they went through with this.
• DIET COKE: "We need to adopt my binary system of food classifications where everything is either a meat or an animal. If it comes from an animal, it's a meat. If it does not come from an animal, it's a vegetable. That is my feeling." LILITH: "I think we've debated this before, and I think I reacted poorly to it. I'm kind of with you now." Boo Berry cereal is a vegetable, except for the marshmallows which contain animal gelatin and are therefore a meat.
• DIET COKE: "For years now, cramble - cramblin' specifically - is a kind of nonsense phrase that pops up when I don't have a real word I wanna use in a sentence." LILITH: If you and I ever start a movie studio... Cramblin' Entertainment."
• DIET COKE: "I think in many ways Thanksgiving is a spookier holiday than Halloween." LILITH: "We should just rename November 'October 2.'" DIET COKE: "A lot of ghosts in famous Christmas stories. Maybe that's October 3." LILITH: "What if we just, months are numbered starting at October, and they're all October." DIET COKE: "All the way up to September which is now called October 12. I like that. That works for me." LILITH: "Never forget October 12 11th." DIET COKE: "Do we call it 10 12-11 instead of 9-11?" LILITH: "Yes. 10 12-11, 2011." DIET COKE: "So the word October does return its identity as a ten when you transfer to an all-number system... It makes the most sence. We're here. I'm gonna reveal the date we're recording. It's October 1 14."
• Referring to the Monster Cereal boxes with unique character descriptions that Lilith bought - DIET COKE: "You should hang onto them. These might be collector's items... You sell this at Frank & Son's in ten years for fifty bucks or whatever, and it ends up in Pulp Fiction 2. That's how it happens." LILITH: "I would never sell my beloved cereal boxes to Quentin Tarantino... All of my cereal boxes are not allowed to be purchased by Quentin Tarantino or on his behalf. They are not to end up in his hands. Otherwise, prosecution will be sought out to the fullest extent of the law."
• DIET COKE: "If you were to become a rapper whose gimmick is that you sell crypto, then you could be lil.eth." LILITH: "That would be my crypto rapper name. I'm so glad I have that now in case that's an avenue I decide to go down."
• DIET COKE: "'Trader Bros?' Is that anything? Write that down. That's a potential sketch in the future."
• Reverse Tim Allen: Instead of "more power," they say "less power." Instead of going "hahaha," they go "meow." They are nice to their wife and embrace their goth child. They were never arrested for selling cocaine, but if they were, they wouldn't snitch. "Look forward to future episodes. That might be a character."
• DIET COKE: "What if we push past the limits of raisins and dry it out even further... Would it pop? Corn can't be the only thing that does that."
• In order to make the podcast easier for people to understand lore without needing to listen to every episode in order, Diet Coke suggested, "we should put out a company-wide memo through the House of Snax that says when you're a character that's not one of us on the show, just speak a few lines of exposition at the start of every appearance, comic book style, you know?"
• DIET COKE: "We should be getting these snacks for free, and if the companies don't want to pay us because they're afraid of us, then the government should subsidize us as a service to the American people." LILITH: "We should be funded by but wholly independent from the Food and Drug Administration." DIET COKE: "They Food and Drug Administration, they can tell us whether or not a food is gonna kill us, but they can't tell us what it's gonna do to our souls, and that's where we come in, as a sort of sister organization to the Food and Drug Administration, but the cowards in congress won't do that."
• DIET COKE: "Maybe I can be, like, the clown that gives media training, because they love a clown over there at the hospitals, and I feel like I have clown energy."
• LILITH: "Recently my girlfriend said that we should record an episode where we don't talk about cum at all so that it's an episode that could be shown to, say, moms, like her mom. Her mom's into podcasts."
• After the Snack Description Entity called Diet Coke and Lilith assholes, Lilith said, "I got to have a talking-to with that entity, not that we need to introduce more characters onto this show." Diet Coke responded, "That's Season 4 stuff... I think we're in Season 2 right now."
• Diet Coke and Lilith tried and failed to avoid mentioning cum during Episode #78, and Lilith once again reiterated the plan to record an episode where they don't talk about cum at all: "The Cumless Episode is what we'll call it. Except we won't call it that because that kind of draws more attention to the fact that we have to do a cumless episode. No cum."
• Diet Coke and Lilith once again failed to avoid mentioning cum during Episode #79, making Lilith lose hope in the whole venture. Diet Coke still had faith, stating, "I think it's doable. I think in the year 2023 we have the technology to produce a cum-free episode of the House of Snax. It's difficult.
• Once the House of Snax Prayer was fully retired after performing it over 80 times, Lilith suggested possibly bringing it back for guests: "When we have company at the House of Snax, maybe we'll just make them say it. That might be fun. We'll do the call and response thing then."
• DIET COKE: "What if Jill Biden hatches this idea where they pass a law where cashiers, at any store that sells food - not restaurants, but any grocery store, liquor store - the cashier has to ask you why you bought the items you're buying... They are required by law to ask you why you're buying your food. You cold give a bullshit answer, but you have to have the conversation... I do think it would have some strong effects on society. I don't know exactly what they would be. Like, in the future where they make movies set during this period, it would be a thing to establish the time period." LILITH: "If we did start requiring this of cashiers, I think we would see mass quitting, just nobody wants to ask that fucking question." DIET COKE: “I think you're right, but I do think there would be like a subset of society that never considered a cashier job of like nosy people and maybe even like bullies, like people who get off on humiliating people, might now seek out cashier jobs. You know what? That's what we do with all those people. So first we abolish the police, and then all the people who would’ve become cops will now want to become cashiers." LILITH: "They get to ask people, like, 'Why are you buying cheese, cheese idiot?'... Whenever we get the Wikipedia updated, the House of Snax Wiki, this is Future Business Plans." DIET COKE: "Our future business plan is to write up this presentation and submit it to Congress. That's how that works, right?" LILITH: "Joe Biden, make cashiers ask people weird questions." DIET COKE: "I think every slightly liberal city in every state has a 'keep blank weird' movement. We get them on board with this... I'll tell you, it would be brutal for food review podcasters, having to explain our podcast every time we went to the store... 'See, I had to buy this, because five episodes ago, the Snack-Keeper said this.'" LILITH: "Now this cashier at your local Ralphs is like getting drip-fed snack lore."
• DIET COKE: "Piss sells. Cum sells. We're not gonna get the attention of the Academy until we've reached a certain level, and so we cannot yet discard the rocket boosters that are pee pee and poo poo and cum jokes, because they haven't got us into the stratosphere yet. Once we're there, I'll be masterpiece theater over here I'll be so classy, but until then - [piss sound effect] - we need a little help."
• DIET COKE: "Naomi Watts Funny Games, that movie, the trailer stole our damn theme song! Can you believe that? They're using the House of Snax theme song in a major motion picture! ... We should sue."
• If they ever do the segment "Diet Coke's Pop Odyssey" again, they have to synchronize soundboard presses like they accidentally did during Episode #103, because what Lilith added to the segment's theme song is now officially part of it.
• TONY CUTZ: "Any other podcast editors wanna talk together, maybe we should have a union. Contact the House of Snax. We can talk about that."
• DIET COKE: "We should pitch the idea of the adults only Target to the Target corporation. I think we can sell this thing... This is the time to do it, because what do Millennials love? I hear it all the time. We love getting high and wandering around Target. Now imagine if there was a child-free environment where they sold cereal with weird horny stories on the back." SNACK-KEEPER III: "People don't want to eat cereal because it feels childish sometimes, but if you give a little something for the adults in the crowd, it's like, hey, I can enjoy my morning Snack-Keeper O's and be a little titillated before I walk out the door... Maybe the way it'll tie into the character is we can say the frosting is jizz, either mine or jizz that I've inspired. Maybe I'm the cereal, and I'm getting people to jizz on me... People have cum on the cereal because of how horny the Snack-Keeper made them... Of course I'll be the pen name. We'll get actual erotic authors to submit the stories."
• LILITH: "I'm sick of toiling in obscurity... I think there's two things we need to do. Step one, we need to start actively fostering parasocial relationships with our best friends, anyone who listens to this podcast." DIET COKE: "I think that's a really bad idea when we only have like three specific fans... That feels weird. But, hey if that's how we're gonna make the big bucks I'm in, what's step two?" LILITH: "Step two is we need to do something very bad that will get people really mad at us... kind of like Logan Paul doing that messed-up thing... What's a really offensive thing we could do?" DIET COKE: "We could try to go the Blaire White route. We could do an interview where we're like, 'you're actually right about trans people, not us, but that's because we're cool... Benzo-glazed steak is what we'll be reviewing with Jordan Peterson. We're gonna discuss the trans problem with him... We can't just do any of these ideas; we have to do all of them maybe, and make it our whole brand for a few years." LILITH: "I think that needs to start with us renting a five to ten bedroom mansion in the hills and then tasing each other on camera... We can't rent out a mansion. I mean, I could probably get my hands on a Taser, and I could just hit you with that a few times." DIET COKE: "We could maybe like in Blender create a mansion, and then we just need a cheap green screen... They do some stuff with piss on Jackass, but maybe we could be like the extra piss Jackass crew."
• Before Episode #112, they tried to hire Swamp Thing, but he was not willing to relocate because he has a family. They may try to hire a different professional swamp thing, because they still need the help at the House of Snax and could use a swamp thing.
• LILITH: "I should put together a travel log of my time in the Snack Dimension... I was really trying the local cuisine and trying to look into how capitalism has wrecked the Snack Dimension. It's very different from how Earth capitalism works.
• DIET COKE: "What if they remade The Ring... where it's not enough to copy the tape; you have to do a podcast about the tape every seven days or you die... If we can get the Snack-Keeper to make that threat, I guess we can kind of live that life, to keep us on schedule." LILITH: "I don't know that I want to encourage that from the Snack-Keeper... The podcast would end if we ever dropped the ball."
• Before Episode #138, Lilith ordered two stun guns. "We may have a live on-air demo of one or both of the stun guns that I'll own at that point."
• Lilith made the House of Snax theme song shorter before Episode #140. LILITH: "I did cut it down a little bit. I'm gonna keep making it shorter forever." DIET COKE: "Until you actually get younger when you press play on it. That's like the ultimate goal... the theme song's gonna be so short that it actually goes in reverse, and for that time it is playing, you will be aging backwards, but you won't feel it. It won't make time go backwards." LILITH: "It won't make you younger permanently... While you're listening to it, you'll be like, 'Wow, I like Paramore more.'" DIET COKE: "It'll send your consciousness back, but only during it, like Days of Future Past." LILITH: "I am actually going to add Paramore to the intro so you can appreciate the fact that you like Paramore more while it's playing."
• LILITH: "Sprite's batteries now, y'all. I don't care if it's my genes. We're switching the whole paradigm over. Everybody has to say Sprite's batteries or Joe Biden will kill them... Restaurant Sprite tastes fine. McDonald's Sprite is fantastic. Pre-packaged Sprite tastes like batteries... I just need to make sure that the specificity of the opinion that Joe Biden has to enforce via executive order that is backed up with lethal force is that pre-packaged Sprite tastes like batteries and not restaurant Sprite."
• They have plans to move movie talk to its own show for the Patreon, appeasing Daddy.