The House of Snax, drawn by itsclove333
One room in the House of Snax[1]
The House of Snax is the building where episodes of Diet Coke & Lilith's House of Snax are recorded. The exterior is painted wood, but the inside has plaster walls with worn wallpaper.[2] Due to the dimensional rules of the House of Snax, the house is only corporeal during weekly recording sessions, when it appears in the mist.[3] Lilith considers it her "home away from home,"[4] and it is where she sometimes keeps her collection of vintage lamps.[5] The foundation of the building is built with sour gummy worms, which is why it is sinking into the sea.[6]
Location[]
The House of Snax is located in the in-between dimension (presumably between The Snack Dimension and this dimension) also referred to as a "weird hell dimension."[7] Injuries that happen in it do not equate to "real world" injuries.[5] Diet Coke and Lilith can't really step outside of the house and instead are magicked in and out.[7] Lilith does also drive to the House of Snax sometimes, which requires her to buy a lot of replacement windshield wipers because of the acid frosting rain[8] (it's cum[9][10][11][12]). The late Snack-Keeper Jr often explored the in-between dimension and performed at an open mic in a local coffee shop there every Wednesday.[7] Sometimes other Snack-Keepers pass by the House of Snax.[13]
In the in-between dimension, it is always raining some sort of acidic cream,[14][8] which is cum.[9][10][11][12] The cum that rains from the sky is not not human cum,[11] but it's not animal cum.[13] It can melt skin and sometimes eat through stuff like alien blood, although some guests have been able to consume respectable amounts of it without any issues while waiting outside before episodes.[11][13] The rain often leaks through the roof when guests are on the podcast, requiring plugs. Diet Coke and Lilith are constantly needing to repair the roof, but they have Snack-Keeper III repair it instead of a professional contractor, so it never gets fixed all the way.[15] It also rattles the walls so often that decorations don't stay up on them.[10] There was once some kind of meat rain which put a five foot-hole in the roof[16] requiring repairs before the following recording.[17]
Interior[]
Diet Coke and Lilith usually record in two different rooms inside the House of Snax,[18] and they recorded in the same room for the first time during Episode #107. A bathroom, where Lilith sometimes takes very long pisses, is very close to the area where the podcast is recorded.[19] During a period of time when Snack-Keeper III was alone in the house for a few weeks, they put up a poster of Snack-Keeper porn.[20] There is an end table and a dusty lamp somewhere in the area between the podcast recording zone and the front door.[21] The door has a peephole, but it does not work.[21] There is a fridge.[15]
There is not a lot of room in the house, except for the basement, which is very spacious because Snack-Keeper III currently lives there.[22] The basement has a couch and a toilet in it,[23] as well as a mirror which can be used in a ritual to summon the late Snack-Keeper Sr[24] and a ping pong table.[25]
There are censors in the ceiling of the House of Snax, and certain frequencies just mute out the volume in real life, like in Click. This was something Diet Coke and Lilith inherited from the previous owner of the house, and they can't get rid of it.[26] The house also has an attic.[3]
Business[]
"It is impossible to be hurt by food" is the House of Snax motto, although they were psychically damaged by Candy Pop Popcorn Sour Patch Kids.[27] The House of Snax phone number is 555-SNAK.[28] Lilith has purchased analbuttsex.com and made it redirect to the House of Snax podcast website.[29][30]
Diet Coke and Lilith have ownership of the House of Snax and the land that it's on.[31] However, from Episodes #72 to #75, the House of Snax real estate and intellectual property was owned by Steven Smellsalot, who subjected the podcast to several unwanted editorial changes until his death when everything returned to normal.
Kenny Omega is in the House of Snax every time Diet Coke and Lilith have a Two Sweet special on the podcast, but he refuses to say anything. He usually sits on the couch trying to play through all of the Final Fantasy games on his Steam Deck. Sometimes he puts the Steam Deck down to cross his arms and give a stern look to Diet Coke and Lilith for up to five minutes.[32]
Diet Coke and Lilith also have several future business plans which are planned but have not been enacted yet.
Fundraising and Promotion[]
At one point they were looking for franchisees in hopes of getting a House of Snax franchise going. There is a $100,000 franchise fee, but once that is paid, they will send all necessary supplies, including a trained Snack-Keeper and a lawyer if needed.[31]
After Episode #42, the House of Snax opened a Patreon in order to fund a new lung for Diet Coke as well as development of an anti-silly vaccine created from the Fun Sucker's blood, which would be used to banish the Snack-Keeper from Diet Coke's body. However, it was later revealed that the Snack-Keeper was taking all of the money before it got to the House of Snax.[33] This is presumably no longer an issue as the Snack-Keeper died during Episode #52.
They have official pussyhats with the House of Snax logo on it.[13]
During Episode #107, Diet Coke and Lilith devised the House of Snax Challenge, a social media challenge that will turn you into a Snack-Keeper if you perform it.
Policies[]
Diet Coke and Lilith get up at 9 AM every Tuesday to record the podcast episodes, then zip them right out to the internet on the same day, which is how all podcasts work. Someone comes and kills you if you try to record a podcast ahead of time.[13] Diet Coke and Lilith are honor bound within the House of Snax to eat the snack once they've introduced it,[9] and they have a House of Snax Constitution which ratifies their official snack ratings.[34]
Most House of Snax inhabitants are bound to Snack Law, a set of dimensional rules that govern the House of Snax. There are a few currently known rules which have been mentioned on the podcast: People are only allowed to eat snacks that they brought into the House themself.[19] Only processed foodstuff may be discussed on the podcast, as homemade foods do not qualify as snacks.[21] You cannot give a snack a rating if you haven't consumed it.[35] The Snack-Keeper is bound by Snack-Law to do the podcast.[36][37]
The House of Snax is currently a union operation as the result of a strike measure from Diet Coke and Lilith. They now have PTO and get a number of weeks off.[38] They recently got scales which sometimes need to be recharged, requiring breaks from the podcast[39]
If a candy corn hater walks into the House of Snax, Diet Coke and Lilith will punch them in the eyebrow.[40] If the person does not have eyebrows, they will get punched in the brow bone. Although the Snack-Keeper was not punched during the episode that they revealed they hate candy corn, Lilith punched them in the face during Episode #42 after they said that tabletop RPGs are boring. They also keep a sledge hammer in the House of Snax in case of emergencies.[19]
Rituals[]
Near the beginning of every episode until #83, Diet Coke and Lilith did The House of Snax Prayer as a moment of spiritual awareness to keep them honest about the intentions they're setting in the podcast:
I pledge my oath to the House of Snax
I will hold its rotten walls up with my hands
I will bless its fetid plumbing, for what is consumed here shall remain here
I will honor the snacks that come between my lips with fair and considered ratings
A rating is a promise, and like Bruce Willis, it is unbreakable
I will not eat if I shall not eat
I will not buy if I shall not buy
And I will leave only when the Keeper bids it
Amen
While editing, the prayer was cut out of every episode until #79. However, in that episode, Snack-Keeper III led the prayer and went slightly off-script, so the first episode that has the full official prayer in it is #80. A few episodes later, Diet Coke and Lilith stopped performing the prayer entirely, believing that they have fully consecrated their oath to the House of Snax.[27]
Diet Coke and Lilith also perform the House of Snax ceremonial handshake at the end of every episode, but it takes about 45 minutes to do the full handshake, so it is cut out of every episode.[27] (Handshakes are also not typically very entertaining in an audio-only format.)
Hall of Fame[]
There is a House of Snax Hall of Fame, for the greatest snacks that have been reviewed on Diet Coke & Lilith's House of Snax. There are currently only two snacks with a place in the Hall of Fame: Trolli Sour Crunchy Crawlers[41], reviewed during Episode #8 and later called "one of the GOAT snacks of this podcast," and Herr's Deep Dish Pizza Cheese Curls[42], which were described as a "once in a lifetime snack" and were good enough to change the Snack-Keeper's heart and transform them into the Snack Giver.[43] When a snack is inducted into the Hall of Fame, instead of having a trophy or a plaque, Diet Coke and Lilith nail the snack directly to the wall and let whatever happens to it happen to it, because death and decay is what the House of Snax is all about.[44]
Murders[]
During episode #18, Diet Coke seemed to imply that several murders have been committed at the House of Snax, as after shooting Ben Platt, she said, "Alright, that's a nice 'nother Jackson Pollock for the wall there. We got a few of them now. I'll just drag this body outside the door."
Steven Smellsalot was murdered by Lilith 2.0, a robot that was created by Lilith in the house, although his death happened elsewhere.
- ↑ https://twitter.com/deathcarpets/status/1472360324451946497
- ↑ https://twitter.com/deathcarpets/status/1472324153931878412
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Episode #72
- ↑ Episode #47
- ↑ 5.0 5.1 Episode #54
- ↑ Episode #36
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 Episode #68
- ↑ 8.0 8.1 Episode #83
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 Episode #68
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 10.2 Episode #123
- ↑ 11.0 11.1 11.2 11.3 Episode #132
- ↑ 12.0 12.1 Episode #137
- ↑ 13.0 13.1 13.2 13.3 13.4 Episode #136
- ↑ Episode #34
- ↑ 15.0 15.1 Episode #143
- ↑ Episode #86
- ↑ Episode #88
- ↑ Episode #107
- ↑ 19.0 19.1 19.2 Episode #55
- ↑ "Give Us Weapons and Ghoulies to Kill, Taco Bell" (Episode #146?)
- ↑ 21.0 21.1 21.2 Episode #15
- ↑ Episode #71
- ↑ Episode #78
- ↑ Episode #65
- ↑ Episode #130
- ↑ Episode #131
- ↑ 27.0 27.1 27.2 Episode #84
- ↑ Episode #25
- ↑ Episode #135
- ↑ Episode #142
- ↑ 31.0 31.1 Episode #21
- ↑ Episode #101
- ↑ Episode #48
- ↑ Episode #108
- ↑ Episode #139
- ↑ Episode #102
- ↑ Episode #110
- ↑ Episode #138
- ↑ Episode #140
- ↑ Episode #19
- ↑ Episode #20
- ↑ Episode #26
- ↑ Episode #14
- ↑ Episode #52